sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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