singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
