Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
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Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
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On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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