Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
