bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You're a waste of cheezeits
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
