he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
