____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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