I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
you traded sex for a burrito?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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