discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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