oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
