She's JV to your varsity
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
