he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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