So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
