Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
