i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
