last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
