i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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