We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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