When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
