Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
