Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
