if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
