dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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