If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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