So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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