fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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