i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
