I want to have your abortion
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
