Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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