I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure