she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going