You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now