I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.