Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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