worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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