im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
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It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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