My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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