Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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