There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
