the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
