i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You did what with his pubic hair?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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