I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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