I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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