it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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