The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
