So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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