its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
