I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
