is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My pussy is not your playground.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
