I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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