I molested 6 butterflies tonight
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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