Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
