Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
