You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
