I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
