your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
