i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
