I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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