you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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