roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
