Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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