Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dude i'm inner monologue high
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
