I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
