She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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